Ask no man

No More Contention is the pursuit of clarity, charity and understanding. Contention arises from the compulsion to have others agree with us. Seeking understanding in an environment of clarity and charity produces no more contention. As Joseph Smith said, "I will ask no man to believe as I do."

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Three broad categories

In a sense, contention is inevitable and unavoidable because every individual is unique, and no two people agree on everything.  Ideally, we...

Tuesday, June 24, 2025

Peacemakers in homes

In a Father’s Day social media post on Sunday June 15, 2025, President Russel M. Nelson of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints expressed gratitude for peacemakers. 

“I’ve spoken recently about the need for peacemakers. On this Father’s Day I feel gratitude for all the fathers who act as peacemakers in their homes and communities,” President Nelson said. “My own father was an example of this during my childhood. And I have tried my very best to carry over his righteous influence into my own family, which now includes hundreds of people—each of whom I love dearly!”

In his Father’s Day message, President Nelson issued a promise to fathers around the world. 

“Fathers, as you become peacemakers in your homes, you can literally thwart the influence of the adversary,” he said. “As you demonstrate the charity that true followers of Jesus Christ manifest, the Lord will magnify your efforts beyond your loftiest imagination.  

“As you follow the Prince of Peace, you will become His peacemakers.” 

Sunday, June 1, 2025

Litigation is not fact-finding

Recently I had an extended conversation about an issue in Church history that involves a combination of facts and assumptions, inferences, theories, and hypotheses. 

By using the FAITH model of analysis, it is easy for everyone to agree on the actual facts, once they are separated from and distinguished from the assumptions, inferences, etc. 

But this other individual framed the conversation in legal terms such as "burden of proof" and other references to judicial proceedings. 

That is such an antiquated way of thinking I was a little surprised. But then I suppose most people are still in the mode of arguing about such things. 

Arguing involves low-level consciousness. 

In my career as a lawyer, I observed uncountable arguments, many about things that don't matter much. Basic human psychology makes people possessive about their things and their beliefs. In the academic world, I've been continually surprised at how closely scholars identify with their own theories. Some of them take confirmation bias to a level I didn't think possible.

Many people are also insecure, to the point where they seek validation from others. This is a major cause of contention. People think they need others to agree with them about their own beliefs and worldviews.

Returning to the legal framing, the individual I was conversing with seemed to think we were adversaries in some way. It was weird, actually. I explained that all I cared about was getting as many facts as are available, which I had assumed he wanted as well.

But he didn't.

He had a narrative he liked and he wanted to retain it. He was uninterested in facts that contradicted his narrative.

My general rule is that more facts are better than fewer facts. It's so strange when others disagree.

Some of the confusion about facts may arise from the term "fact-finder" or "finder of fact" that is often applied to a jury (or a judge if no jury). It's a misnomer, of course; no one know what actually happened in the past. The best we can do is make assumptions and inferences on a limited set of actual facts.

But maybe the idea of a jury/judge as a "fact-finder" has woven itself into social consciousness, to the point that people (especially those who participate in the judicial process) actually believe at some level that a jury/judge can find facts.

Again, weird.

This whole experience reminded me of the importance of the FAITH model to eliminate contention. But the FAITH model apparently threatens people who prefer to confirm their biases and worldviews by deeming their own assumptions and inferences and theories as facts.

Fun lesson! 

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Here's a graphic that depicts the outcome of clarity, charity and understanding, as opposed to arguing and contention.




Friday, May 2, 2025

easily offended?

 So many of us make a great fuss of matters of small consequence. We are so easily offended. Happy is the man who can brush aside the offending remarks of another and go on his way.

-Gordon B. Hinckley

Sunday, April 6, 2025

Latter-day Saints' love for each other



Elder Uchtdorf gave a wonderful talk about unity on April 5, 2025, in General Conference. Here is a summary.

https://www.thechurchnews.com/general-conference/2025/04/05/elder-dieter-uchtdorf-april-2025-general-conference-love-for-god-and-his-children/

Elder Uchtdorf’s talk summary

A friend visiting a branch in Germany was impressed by the members’ love for each other.

When people experience the Church for the first time, they are likely to notice how they feel and how members treat each other. The Savior wants them to leave with stronger faith in Him. The love felt there will lift them closer to Jesus Christ.

The Lord invites His children to join His kingdom and anxiously engage in building it. To be of one heart, individuals must align their heart with the Savior.

One category comes before all others: child of God. Unity in the Church is not because of a common background but because of a common objective — being “one in Christ.”

Those who love God and want to know Him better and seek to keep the commandments are a perfect fit for the Church, which is one body. “All are needed in the body of Christ.”

For those who are not yet members of the Church, “we invite you to join us as we rejoice in the Savior’s ‘song of redeeming love.‘”

Church members’ love for God and His children is a powerful testimony to the world that this is the Savior’s Church.

Notable quotes

“The Lord invites us not just to join His kingdom but also to be anxiously engaged in building it.”

“We are one, not because of where we’ve been but where we are striving to go, not because of who we are but who we seek to become.”

“Our love for God and His children is a powerful testimony to the world that this is truly the Savior’s Church.”

Monday, March 3, 2025

Is civility possible?

Andy Kessler's article in the WSJ:

https://www.wsj.com/opinion/is-civility-possible-again-political-discourse-the-view-donald-trump-godwins-law-social-media-1d89bef8?st=BnXpLt&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink


Excerpts:

there are calls from the media for civility. Now? We have a long history to overcome. Mark Twain, a 29-year-old San Francisco-based opinion columnist for a Nevada newspaper in 1865, was spewing venom, saying of the police, “Wax figures, besides being far more economical, would be about as useful.” Pianist and comedian Oscar Levant in 1940 said of his morning routine, “First I brush my teeth and then I sharpen my tongue.” Same.

Incivility became a favored tactic for activists. In 1971 Saul Alinsky wrote “Rules for Radicals,” which became the bible for the Obama and Biden administrations. Rule 5: “Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon.” Rule 13: “Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.” Rude, but effective.

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In 2017 the Washington Post cited Godwin’s Law: “As an online discussion continues, the probability of a reference or comparison to Hitler or Nazis approaches 1.” In 2016 the Post’s website ran this headline: “Don’t compare Donald Trump to Adolf Hitler. It belittles Hitler.”

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Is it over? Is society so depraved that life will never be civil again? In January, this paper quoted Jacob Mchangama, founder of Justitia, blaming cancel culture on “our species’ hard-wired tendencies toward tribalistic behavior and the self-righteous urge to punish outgroups who transgress taboos.”

Your taboo is my ballyhoo. Tribalism and self-righteousness are hard to combat, but not impossible. It has to start early and locally, in our education system and within our families and communities, to instill a sense of civility. Maybe someday.


Thursday, February 6, 2025

Three benefits of friendship-Ulisses Soares

 



Friendship does not require us to share identical religious beliefs or always agree with one another. In a recent conversation with my dear friend, Pastor Bob Roberts, at the Global Faith Forum in Washington, D.C., we discussed our shared interest in religious freedom and working together to accomplish good in our communities. Spending time with friends who have different views and trying to understand their perspective offers at least three benefits beyond just enjoying friendship: 1. It strengthens our love and compassion for one another. 2. It broadens our perspective and can lead to greater insight. 3. It helps clarify and strengthen our own beliefs, allowing us to express them more clearly and confidently. The world would be better and more peaceful if more people joined together and sincerely tried to understand the perspectives of those who think or believe differently. We are all children of God, which makes each of us spiritual brothers and sisters.


More detail:




Comment:
Yes. 👍 It also seems clear the adversary distorts tolerance and empathy to spread wickedness and darkness throughout the world. I love how the prophets & apostles bring clarity to true principles in the face of the world's philosophies of men mingled with scripture.