Depolarizing within

In our pursuit of clarity, charity and understanding, we note an article from NPR discusses a program from Braver Angels called "Depolarizing within."

https://www.npr.org/sections/shots-health-news/2024/10/14/nx-s1-5057929/anxiety-stress-politics-election-2024-polarization?utm_id=23122126&orgid=213&utm_att1=

Excerpts:

Here’s a question to ask yourself:

“How often do I feel a rush of pleasure with friends when we ridicule those ‘crazies’ on the other political side?”

This comes from an exercise in a course called Depolarizing Within, created by Braver Angels, a group that aims to help Americans bridge the political divide.

Be honest with yourself if the answer is “often.” Another part of the course asks you to consider the words you use: If you lean blue and words like “anti-immigrant” or “bible-thumper” come to mind, or if you lean red and you’re thinking “elitist” or “unpatriotic,” then your inner polarizer is alive and well.

Labels can dehumanize the opposing side especially when they don’t reflect the complexity of people’s views.

.....

“We’re not trying to get people to start agreeing,” Staehli says. The goal is to turn down the temperature, “to stop hating each other,” she says. And, through dialogue, to see past labels, stereotypes and division.

Christensen says this works because “they’re not criticizing the other side. They’re not putting them down. They’re not adding to the problem. They’re working on actually resolving it.”

Oftentimes, Staehli says, people will find common ground as they consider others’ beliefs and values. They start to see how compromise might be possible.

.....

If this election cycle is causing you distress or tension with people you know, here are ways to depolarize yourself and talk to those you disagree with.

1. Notice stereotypes in your own thinking

Braver Angels’ Staehli says stereotyping, dismissing, ridiculing and contempt are “the four horsemen of polarization.” The group’s online depolarizing workshop teaches how to counter these attitudes in yourself.

.....

2. Next, ‘edit the story’

Once you see your own attitudes clearly, Braver Angels has you rethink the story you tell yourself about people with opposing views. Here are a few starting points, adapted from the course:

Acknowledge that the other side is more varied than the stereotype and that their views are more complicated than the rhetoric you’ve been hearing.

.....

3. Limit consumption of polarizing news

“We are absolutely drawn to the “us versus them narratives,” Israel says. Through evolutionary hardwiring we tend to adopt a team sport mentality, she says. And much of cable news reinforces this polarizing storyline, emphasizing controversy and division.

“The more people tune into news that caters to one side or the other, the more skewed their perceptions of people on the other side is going to be,” Israel says.

.....

4. Curate your social media feed and watch for misinformation

Research finds some social media limits your exposure to viewpoints that differ from your own. So it's important to take control of what you are seeing on these platforms.

It’s easy to share or like messages that reinforce our biases. If the message slams a person on the other side, but fails to teach you anything or offer a solution, ask yourself if it’s really helpful, says Israel. If the answer is no, don’t like or share it. And consider unfollowing groups or individuals that repeatedly spew one-sided or scornful messages or misinformation.

.....

5. Get engaged in community groups

The opposite of scrolling is to actually engage with other humans.

“It turns out, that’s a wonderful thing for us to do,” Israel says. And not only can we spend more time with family and friends, but we also get involved in our community. This may help counter political – and social – isolation. Plus, “it’s actually good for our mental health to volunteer,” she says.

.....

6. How to talk through difference

When it comes to resolving conflict, people are not going to hear you – or your point of view – until they feel heard. This is why listening and acknowledging is so key to the Braver Angel’s approach to bridge-building. “You do it over and over again,” Staehli says until the other person feels heard. This can help establish good will.

So here’s the Braver Angels’ process for how to have a productive conversation with someone across the political divide.

The first step is to listen. Then ask questions with curiosity, Braver Angels’ Elizabeth Christensen suggests. “What was behind that? Why did you do that? Where are you coming from?” 

Next, acknowledge what the other person said. You don’t have to agree, just acknowledge that you've heard them, Christensen says.  Ask: Did I hear you correctly? Is this what you’re saying? “It’s acknowledging that you understand where they are at,” she explains.

And then there’s the pivot. Ask if you can share a different perspective. It’s like the turn signal on a car – you give people a heads up you may have a different viewpoint. “Then they are prepared to listen to you instead of responding to you – hopefully!” Christensen says.

Then offer your perspective. Use non-polarizing language. Finally check in with them to make sure they’ve heard you.

Both Christensen and Staehli have used these skills in conversation with their own families. “They work incredibly well,” Christensen says.

7. Cultivate empathy and compassion

In a polarized situation, people are very empathetic toward people on their own side, but very not empathetic toward people on the other side, Israel says. This can work against the goal of bridge-building.

.....

Practicing loving-kindness meditation has been shown to improve social interactions and increase happiness which can lower symptoms of anxiety and depression. It’s also been shown to reduce stress.